8months past again.

How is everyone>?

Things have been ok here. Nothing major to speak of. Still in therapy and will probably be for a while more.

It has been ultra slow at work so it doesnt leave me a whole lot to do but sit here and remember that I have journals and blogs everywhere that I do not get to very often.

oh well...

I have not been here in a really long time, gawd knows i prolly shouldnt be updating since i am at awork and all and i have a survey to get out but we will get that done today...or i will anyway...

There is not much going on...working the same place with the same loeverly view.

Therapy x's 2 a wk which is actuall good for me bc i dont forget where I was at the week before and yadda yadda...

Just the one rat still whom I hate bc he is mean but than again maybe i should clean his cage but he is so mean I hate letting him out bc he just runs across my foot stops and is like mmmm flesh and bites me.

Oh well maybe i will tell more some other day...

Neela Out

Me bored at work!!!

SO Suzy Q hada baby gyrl...wooot woooot. I knew I should have taken that bet. I just dont bet. Either way I am ecstatic.

Work is good we can see the sears tower today, it kept disappearing yesterday. ANd thank the goddess I leave early today bc it has been so slow...I dunno what to do with myself. The good thing is that i am being promoted and I have to be ready to rock and roll in my new position as ACCOUNT MANAGER by Dec 11 yeah they actually gave me a date not to mention they have already given me a show of my own in January and another one to work with Anna. But if they let Jason go I will be getting his shows. so WHOA!!!

I am in love with the new Piano Box set...

And I gotta go for my smoke before everyone gets here.

Neela OUT

I cant stop listening to NOT DAVID BOWIE, I love them all... Take me with you is amazing. I am in a happy place once again thanks to T and all it took was some leaks now atleast I will listen to the box set from beginning to end without fast forwarding to the new stuff.

Anyway...should ithink about what to talk about today or fly by the seat of my jeans when i get there. I am so wrapped up in not listening to myself right now i dunno maybe i need to be told what to do. but that isnt a pleasant thoughht either.

finally did it

I KNOW: things change and I hate it
I WANT: want to be unconditionally loved
I HAVE: to be strong
I WISH: I knew what to write for this thing
I HATE: people who do not use common sense
I MISS: my gramma
I FEAR: loneliness
I HEAR: my rat drinking out of his water bottle
I SEARCH: constantly for myself
I WONDER: about the peeps I care about
I REGRET: the things I cannot remember
I LOVE: without restraint
I ACHE: in my sinuses
I CARE: about those that I'm not sure care about me
I ALWAYS: put things off
I AM NOT: YOU
I DANCE: only when i am drunk
I SING: even though I cannot
I CRY: @ happy ending's
I DO NOT ALWAYS: take myself seriously
I FIGHT: w/my mum still
I WRITE: to get things out of my head
I CONFUSE: myself
I LISTEN: to music constantly
I CAN USUALLY BE FOUND: @work or @home
I NEED: music to feel
I AM HAPPY:when i hear and see Tori

It's been a long time and there a lot of things to catch up on. I am now working as an OFFICE ASSISTANT in the lovely MERCHANDISE MART downtown chicago and I have an office with a view a reallly goood view of the sears tower and the chicago river. Now as long as I do not attempt to jump it will all be good.

I am living back on the northside of town where I should have never left and am slowly but surely beginning to unpack as i buy furniture for my studio. but hell at least it is mine right, right!

I am in TheRapy steadily for a few months now and it is going suprisingly well. Now if I could just gather the balls to talk about things that need to be talked about it would be gr8. During the hospital stay a month or so ago I said one thing that I NEED to be telling my TheRAPIST about but havent done yet and I made a point to tell my RN there that I hadnt even told my shrink yet. IS it mean to call your theRapist a shrink or for that matter a TheRapist??? Prolly.

Since i Last posted I lost both my cat and rat and am not that happy on the animal realm of things but I am done with pets I think for a really long time. I am not home enough anyway.

Unfortunately I do have to get back to work so I will write tomorrow.

BOOOOOO!!!

well let me start off by sayinig that I have really realized just how lucky a person I am after seeing those sicker than myself during my hospital stay last week.

I think my kitty actually missed me, she is now sleeping directly on me or right next to me near my boobage for that everlasting closeness i guess.

My Therapist called me last night just to tell me she was thinking of me and that she wanted to see how i was feeling since being discharged from the hospital. suprisingly well thank the goddess. no odd desires, just a bit on the groggy side unfortunately.

just tryinig to keep my mind occupied even while at work. but i should be moving along now....


Neela OUT